Monday, October 31, 2005

All Hallows Eve of Sith on DVD

Hope everyone is having or did have a splendid Halloween. Diabetics are either jealous of you or making themselves horribly ill trying to act 'normal.' The latter is much more exciting.

I remember my first Diabetic Halloween was only 2 weeks after I was diagnosed. My mother went around before I went out and gave each neighbor a pack of microwave popcorn and a can of Diet Sprite. Once I caught on, I was disappointed. My life would never be the same. Nevertheless, I ate lots of candy today. It's better trying to keep up with the effects of that compared to the diarrhea that excessive consumption of sugar-free products can give you. Happy Halloween indeed.


I worked on my Yoda jack-o-lantern for hours. Shannon made that spiffy ghost to the left. This year, I am saving more anticipation for tomorrow...the release of Star Wars III on DVD.

Enjoy it you will.


Sunday, October 30, 2005

At Least the First Lady Is Honest...and other colon news


Thank you Laura for your candor.

And in other colon related news...buy your friends and family Colondars for the holidays, which feature colon cancer survivors tastefully showing skin and their operative scars. Proceeds benefit the Colon Club, which has an interesting link to the Colossal Colon. One of my dreams is to wiggle my way through a colon. It now may happen someday...



photo illustration of myself about to enter the Colossal Colon

Friday, October 28, 2005

Vice President's Aide Quits After Being Indicted

Read the story for the background. Apparently someone on Bush's staff lied. I find this surprising and appalling. I hope they learn something from this...


Never, ever, trust a guy named "Scooter."

Thursday, October 27, 2005

I Even Respond to the Brainwashed

Comment received today, in regards to last post regarding death milestones in Iraq:

"As the Deuce Four heads home this week, they leave behind a Mosul that, while not yet in the clear, is much closer to security and prosperity than anyone would have considered possible eight months ago. In between the daily secret reports Kurilla has brought to his hospital room so he can track his battalion, the Commander watches television news, increasingly frustrated by what he sees as a clear, and inaccurate, negative bias. When you get the news back here in the states, it’s all doom and body counts. I only wish the American public could see the incredible progress that is being made every day in Iraq, particularly in places like Mosul."

--posted by Someone Who Actuallly Knows the Truth, Dude, and doesnt wear headbands

I appreciate the comments. I really do, especially the unsigned, anonymous, and clever pseudonyms that refer to me as "Dude." It is a great name that I am proud to share with one Jeffrey Lebowski. I am sure there is progress in Iraq. That is so cool, man. I don't give a shit about progress, because we aren't supposed to be there in the first place, and none of those kids should have died for this cause, which has gone through so many different descriptions. First, they were a threat to us because of ties to Al-Qaeda. That didn't pan out, so then they were a threat to us with their massive arsenal of "weapons of mass destruction." Yeah, well we never found those, so then we were there to free and liberate the Iraqis, and give them what they always wanted--democracy. Even on Fox News, I don't see them thanking us much, but the point is we were there to combat 9/11, and we were given many excuses and pieces of false information to get us to go along with this whole mess. Now who really supports this bullshit?

The Pew Research Center has found that half of the country agree that using force in Iraq was the wrong decision.

When asked "In the long run, do you think the war in Iraq has increased the chances of terrorist attacks in the U.S., lessened the chances, or has it made no difference?," 41% said it had increased chances, while only 25% said it had lessened.

Now, these facts and opinions mean nothing to you, my anonymous detractor, because you like to focus on the good we are doing for the people. Yes, I know. I've heard it over and over like a programmed cult, "freedom and liberty." Why the Iraqis? Sure they suffered under Saddam, but what about the people in Sudan and Rwanda? Are they not being oppressed by their rulers?

And tell me, where have you gone Osama Bin Laden?

"Remember me?"

I suppose that is just my negative bias talking, and my headband.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Hooray for the War On Terror

Yesterday marked 2,000 deaths of American soldiers. See their faces here. I'm sure glad we are bringing freedom and liberty to the people of Iraq. I hope they don't mind the 26,732 civilian casualties (to date) they've had to endure to get to this point. Oh well...I guess that's the price you pay for democracy. And that is what they want, right? At least we are keeping the Iraqis from unleashing their WMDs against us...oh wait.

I personally am waiting for the day our dead in Iraq equals
our 2,986 that died on 9/11. We are really showing it to those Arabs. We already killed 9 times that of their people. We'll show them. Or maybe we'll just piss them off into an endless cycle or terrorism and Jihad.

What am I saying? This war ended on May 1, 2003.

And since that wonderful occassion, 1864 of our soldiers have been killed. Sounds a little backwards, but what do I know about combat or the price of freedom?

Keep this in mind...one Bush did foresee this all happening...

"Extending the war into Iraq would have incurred incalculable human and political costs. We would have been forced to occupy Baghdad and, in effect, rule Iraq. The coalition would instantly have collapsed, the Arabs deserting in anger and other allies pulling out as well. Exceeding the U.N.'s mandate would have destroyed the precedent of international response to aggression we hoped to establish. Had we gone the invasion route, the U.S. could still be an occupying power in a bitterly hostile land."
-- From "Why We Didn't Remove Saddam" by George Bush [Sr.] and Brent Scowcroft, Time Magazine, 1998

So here's to 2000 more and many more years of the endless war on terror. Cheers!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

As a Service to the Diabetic Community...

I figured from time to time, I should give some Diabeto-related information. I did come across this article recently on a man's "amazing transformation" from a lard ass to a phat stud. It seems like a nice, inspiring load of crap. He does discuss how he feared getting Diabetes from a family history and just being massive. That leads to a link to The Diabetes Detox diet, which seems a lot like the Atkins diet. Carbohydrates are your enemy! Yet the last time I looked into it, it is suggested that 70% of our diets be carbs. This suggests you effectively eliminate carbs for life. I'd rather shed years off my life.

That page links to another page which lists pertinent Diabetes info. plus vitamins and supplements to make things a tad easier. I'll go for that. As long as I can still eat my pasta.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

A Vasculitis Survivor Comments On My Blog

I received a notable comment to a posting last Sunday. The comment was regarding my posting on October 3rd about Wegener's Granulomatosis, a horrible disease, that took my 14 year old brother's life.

"Yeah, thanks for sharing. I just got out of the hospital a little over a week ago. They aren't 100% what form of ANCA Vasculitis I have, but they think it may be Wegener's. My kidneys seem to be okay, but my lungs were filling with blood and I couldn't breathe for a while without being on pure oxygen. Things seem to be going okay now. Only time will tell. Thanks again."

--Kim

It felt good to get to somebody. I feel bad that she had to read a worst case scenario, but I am glad that someone that is suffering from this at a young age like my brother (Kim is 21) is surviving. Her blog covering her survival is at http://faithofanemptyhand.blogspot.com. It's nice, but sad, to hear of someone else's personalized story. At least it is one of hope.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Bring On the Coffee Flavored Beer!

According to Schlafly's web site, Oct. 26 will mark the return of their Coffee Stout. I ate that shit up last year, but it wasn't shit, and I drank it. I know, I know...St. Louis is Budweiser country. The hell with that. I want beer that tastes like real beer, or in this case, coffee. I wonder if there's enough coffee in there to balance out the depressive part of beer. Actually I don't get depressed when I drink beer, but I do eat wet wipes and dog bones.


Do try the Schlafly Coffee Stout though. It tastes like cold coffee with a heavy fizz. Who can't pass that up?! It should hit St Louis area stores shortly after that date. If not, run to their Bottleworks site in Maplehood, MO and demand it.

It Wasn't In the Cards


Boy that last game sucked. I guess that means bring in the wrecking ball. Goodbye Busch. So long to standing in an inch of piss with 30 other guys, drinking $9 beers, and baseball...for now. And go Sox!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

For that nagging crotch rot...

Try Boudreaux's Butt Paste. It is available at Target and other fine stores. Unfortunately, their site (besides the main page) is down due to Katrina. They are located in Louisiana, you see. It works good on my dry elbows and knees too. They suggest it for pretty much any skin ailment you might have. Even Shaq and Britney jumped on its bandwagon.



The fine line of Butt Paste products


-One Butt Paste thing to note is if you haven't touched the tube in a while, you will be surprised by a clear grease on the first squeeze, so massage the tube like your mother's calves to mix it well.

Also, for that not-so-swell feeling downstairs is the amusing
Anti-Monkey Butt Powder. I myself have not tried this one, but (heh heh) how can you deny it???!

The Anti-Monkey Butt Mobile?

Even if you don't experience these choadal region ailments, they make fine Christmas presents, gag gift or not. AMB is especially recommended for "motorcyclists, horseback riders, bicyclists, runners, and truck drivers," so keep that in mind.

Oh...this is a real neat-o crotch rot story.



Random Interesting Bits-O-Blog

So I was browsing through other blogs and here are some good ones...

Kid gets hand stuck in vacuum!

Girl complains about acid reflux and her period!--thanks to technology, we can now know these intimate details of people's lives.

Pope Ratzinger Comic Satire--stuff in other languages makes me laugh, mainly because I don't understand it.

I like this lady's intro.: "I'm an ex-Witch, now Christian for the last 9 years..." nuff said.

Your guide to plane crash info.--latest plane crashes, plane crash lawyers, etc.

...and if you've been severely depressed recently, here's some help.

...some people.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

I Usually Hate Remakes, But This Is An Exception

I stumbled across this and do not remember how. I love Jack Nicholson. I even took a class on him in college, along with my Tim Burton, Andy Warhol, and Elvis classes. I put my education to good use. Anyway, this is one of the greatest things I've randomly stumbled upon on the web as of late. It is a remixed version of "The Shining" trailer.

Click here to view it.

On September 30, the NY Times ran an exclusive about the clip, stating:


Mr. Ryang won the contest, and about 10 days ago, he said, he sent three friends a link to a "secret site" on his company's Web site where they could watch his entry. One of them, Mr. Ryang said, posted it on his little-watched blog. And that was that. Until this week, when he was hit by a tsunami of
Internet interest. On Wednesday, Mr. Ryang said, his secret site got 12,000 hits. By Thursday the numbers were even higher, his film was being downloaded and linked to on countless other sites, it had cracked the top 10 most popular spoofs on www.ifilm.com, and a vice president at a major Hollywood studio had called up his office, scouting for new talent.


The man is a genius. Enjoy.

I Cured Diabetes By Walking

Justin (left) and Shannon (right) looking for a cure to Diabetes on the streets of Town and Country, MO.

Maybe not, but yesterday, I did participate in the Walk for Diabetes at Maryville University. The Diabetoboy Productions team consisted of myself, my fiance Shannon, and friend/best man Justin Cook. Technically also soliciting donations was Paul Dry, a friend, who couldn't walk due to a mid term. Our team total raised was $710, which ain't too bad. We walked for 3.5 to 4 miles, instead of the original 3, because of confusion at the site. I'm not sure why we were walking anyway though, since we already turned in the money. After working long hours this past week, 4 miles wears a brother out.

The Diabetoboy Productions Team (Shannon, Justin, me---from left)

One perk to the ordeal was getting a free foot exam. Diabetics can have all kinds of foot problems from nerve damage due to high blood sugars. The kind folks from Forest Park Hospital therefore gave free exams to make sure I wouldn't require an amputation. A male doctor was touching my feet though, which didn't bother me a whole lot, but it wasn't my first choice. Luckily, I will have my feet for at least a few more years. Now all I have to worry about is erectile disfunction.

After the walk, we hit up Gus's Pretzels, because of my addiction to pretzels. Not the best thing for a diabetic to inhale, but better than cake or gnawing on pure sugar cane. I want to be a pretzel vendor some day, especially if my career in retail servicing doesn't pan out. Just imagine having access to all the pretzels you want all day.

I'm out.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

A Hard Week's Weekend

Actually working is rough. I haven't done it in a while. 50 hours of manual labor this week. I feel it. By Sunday, I will reek of Ben Gay. Today I got to wake up at my leisure with nothing to rush for. That is an amazing feeling, like a good bowel movement. With nothing to do, I napped. And so did Sadie.

Sadie napping hardcore.

On Saturday morning, I will walk 3 miles for Diabetes. Will my walking cure my disease? Fuck no. I can say I did something for charity though this year. Shannon and my pal Justin will be accompanying myself on the Diabetoboy Productions team. Post walk plans: apply more Ben Gay...in a few hours, repeat. Ah, menthol.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

My $80 T-shirt

I went downtown to Kellie O'toole's to drink and watch the Cards clinch on Saturday with my gal and her friend. I was wearing my "I'm Rick James' Ghost, Bitch!" t-shirt from T-shirt Hell , which instantly got some looks as I entered the bar. Within 10 minutes of being there, as I was approaching the bar for a drink, a woman came up to me. She remarked how sweet she thought my shirt was and how her husband (who was standing right there) would like it for his birthday. She offered to buy it off my back. He whispered in my ear that she had money, so aim high. We went back and forth, but settled on $50. Besides, I only paid $25 for it. Luckily she only had 20's, so she gave me $60 for it. I took her "hubby"'s shirt off his back. She walked away and he explained that she was married, but not to him. She sure liked his nuts though. He even managed to talk her into giving me another $20 because he felt like a cheap whore for being worth less to her. My only mistake was not setting the cash aside. I usually don't bring much to the bars. I spent most of the $80 there. And I come to find out that T-Shirt Hell retired that shirt. What can you do? It was still one of the best times I've had in a drinking establishment in recent memory. Then again, sometimes you don't go out remembering much.

This is a great opportunity to push T-Shirt Hell though. Someone may approach you for your uniquely abbrasive shirt and offer twice what you paid for it. Or you could buy some fun shirts from my Cafe Press store and do the same, because millions want "Matt Blunt Sucks Ass" t-shirts. They just don't know it yet.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Been Workin' For the Man

"Chain Gang, Alabama (1956)" by Gordon Parks


Damn, I feel like I've been working on a chain gang. Since March, I have been working for a fertilizer company (the big one), merchandising their products. And since this is the end of their season, I jumped ship. I now have been working for a retail servicing firm for almost a week now. Let me tell you, when you see those elaborate Christmas displays at big box stores, appreciate it more, because someone worked on that for 16 hours straight. The pay is good, but assembling Christmas trees and hauling lit up displays of Santa and his reindeer can be taxing (no pun intended). This is my college education at use. At least I am getting toned for my nuptials.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

"Blowie the Spacemonkey" Made It

About a month ago, I submitted 4 or 5 experimental video pieces I made last year for school to Post Video Art, a website that features experimental videos. Today, I noticed that 1 made it so far. "Blowie the Spacemonkey," which is a short clip involving a blowfish and television feedback, made the cut. You have to scroll down the list of entries to #139. Enjoy.

Friday, October 07, 2005

My Last Ditch Effort to Raise $ for Diabetes

Yes...I copied and pasted most of this...at least use a credit card and gimme a buck...

I recently accepted the challenge of walking in the American Diabetes Association's America's Walk for Diabetes fund-raising event on October 15, 2005, at Maryville University. I am taking part in this event because I believe in and support the Association's mission: to prevent and cure diabetes and to improve the lives of all people affected by diabetes...and I have lived with Type 1 Diabetes myself for almost 13 years.

You, too, can help by supporting my fund-raising efforts with a generous contribution, or even $1, if that's all you can give. Your tax-deductible gift will make a difference to more than 18 million Americans who are affected by diabetes and another 40 million who are at risk for developing diabetes. It is faster and easier than ever to support this great cause - you can make your donation online by simply clicking the link at the bottom of this message.

More information on the American Diabetes Association, its programs, and diabetes in general can be found at the Association's Web site, www.diabetes.org. To find out more information on our America's Walk for Diabetes, please visit walk.diabetes.org.

Whatever you can give will help! I greatly appreciate your support and will keep you posted on my progress.

To donate online, click here.

What a Beautiful Tomkat Cub It Will Be!

So Tom Cruise knocked up Katie Holmes. Let's hope the kid has the spunk and energy of his pappy, who recently showed off his skillz jumping on couches on Oprah and spouting the truth about Psychology to Matt Lauer on the Today Show.

Conan O'Brien is optimistic about the child's looks...

It actually looks a bit like Maria Shriver, don't ya think?

T#1515: No Longer the Eve of My Destruction

From November of 2001 to January of this year, I was employed at the only Target store in the city of St. Louis (strictly in the city). It was unique for the people that would frequent there, who lived in the neighborhood or hopped off of the bus line. I am a people watcher, so the environment was perfect for me.

Late last year, they decided to demolish old T#0051 and build a brand spankin' new Target in its place to reward the residents for being loyal shoppers. Management asked me to make a video for employees to remember the place and the people. I worked for the final two months on what became "T51: The Eve of Destruction," an hour long documentary exploring employees' and customers' emotions in the final weeks. It turned out quite well, earning me a pretty penny through the store, and an "A" for a documentary production class. People like Jack Francis and high pitched Andrew became legends from it to people who hadn't even worked at the store. Because of the success of "T51: EOD," I decided to make merchandise for my Cafepress store featuring T51 related graphics, mainly for the workers to have another memento. Apparently some were not happy with that. Needless to say, I wasn't invited back to the new facility.



Jack Francis with his mug.


Now T#1515 stands where old T#0051 once stood. It is an amazing structure with underground parking, which is unheard of in the city. Once inside, you would swear you were in an exquisite county store. I will admit my feelings going in to the store were of bitterness, like baker's chocolate. On Thursday though, I began a new job, and I am at ease. As Tom Petty sings, "It's time to move on/ time to get goin'." Everything changes, and people move on, and so I shall.

T#1515 (photo taken by Steve Patterson from his blog "Urban Review")


And as Andrew says at the end of "T51: EOD"..."Goodbye. See you later. Aloha to you."

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

No, I Am Not Z107.7's $10,000 Fugitive

A disturbing thing happened to me today. I went to the opening festivities of the new Target #1515 in my 'hood, which I could have worked at, but we'll save that for a different blog. Anyway, as I mosied around the new, huge Target complex, I noticed a couple of teenage girls following me. Normally, I would take that as a good sign. Maybe they think I look like a celebrity, like Danny Devito. Now he is sexy. After the fourth different time I noticed them staring at me, they approached me and asked, "Are you the Z 107.7 $10,000 fugitive?" What could I say?

"Yes, and you're the winner," I said as I shook her limp hand. She really looked like she was going to faint. When she asked if I was serious, I had to say no. I didn't even know what the hell she was talking about. I don't listen to that pop music kids listen to these days, and Z 107.7FM is YOUR HIT MUSIC STATION in St. Louis.

Well, they walked away disappointed, and I was left puzzled. I think I would rather have them think I was Danny Devito. He made a great Penguin, and I kind of sound like the Penguin.

A few minutes later, an older woman ran up to me and asked, "Are you the Z 107.7 $10,000 fugitive?" I snapped back with a quick, "NO!"

Has the whole world gone mad??!

Damn, stupid radio promotions can really mess with people's heads. And then they have to mess with mine. Bastards. Save me Danny Devito.

Monday, October 03, 2005

What the Hell Is Wegener's Granulomatosis and Why Should You Care?

Yesterday, October 2, began Wegener's Granulomatosis Awareness Week. It has such a catchy title...wouldn't you agree? I hate saying it, not because it is long and difficult, but because this disease killed my brother, Matt, in February of 2000, shortly after his 14th birthday.

(Matt, Myself, and my sister Sara at my HS graduation in 1999)

WG usually affects middle aged folks, but can affect people of all ages, such as my brother. He had flu-like symptoms for a short period of time, but the pediatricians did not think to investigate it further and left it at that. Around the beginning of February he began coughing up decent amounts of blood, which the pediatrician dismissed as a severe part of the flu. He laid on the couch all day, coughing up blood for a few days until my mother took him to the hospital. Even the doctors there weren't too sure of what was going on. By the time they figured it out, it was pretty much too late. The auto-immune disease had been tearing up his kidney and lungs for a while, hence the blood. He was hooked up to more machines than I have ever seen in a hospital room, and he stayed in an induced coma for 2 weeks and died on February 21, 2000.

The other symptoms that seem so insignificant that he experienced were nose bleeds, which even I had often as a child, and joint pain, which actually was once misdiagnosed as a simple twist of the ankle for Matt. The other symptoms are fever, fatigue, malaise, loss of appetite, weight loss, night sweats, changes in color of urine, and weakness. Nothing on that list is huge enough for someone to even consider such a horrible disease, but together or even a few may help point to some form of Vasculitis, such as WG. The WG Association even states that one third of patients may have no symptoms at the onset of the disease. How scary is that?

Granted WG only affects 1 in every 20,000 to 30,000 people, but if you've seen what it can do, you pay attention for signs out of fear. People can live with WG if it is caught early enough, so it's important for doctors and others know at least a little about this disease. For more info., the press release from the WG Association follows below, or go to their website at http://www.wgassociation.org.

Wegener’s Granulomatosis Awareness Week

The week of October 2-8, 2005 has been designated as “Wegener’s Granulomatosis Awareness Week throughout the world.

Wegener’s granulomatosis (WG) is a chronic, autoimmune, vasculitis disease that affects about 1 in 20,000 to1 in 30,000 people. The disease strikes people of all ages.

There is no known cause of Wegener’s; but it is not contagious, and there is no evidence it is hereditary. The disease affects the sinuses, lungs, kidneys and other body organs. About 90% of patients have symptoms of a ‘cold’, ‘runny nose’ or ‘sinusitis’ that fail to respond to the usual therapeutic measures. Other symptoms may include inflammation of the eyes, hearing problems, pleuritis, rash, fever, lack of energy, weight loss, fatigue, arthritic pain, night sweats and blood in urine.

Diagnosis of the disease is made by the ANCA blood test, tissue biopsy or other laboratory findings. Early diagnosis is key to preventing permanent organ damage. Wegener’s can be fatal if not treated.

The Wegener’s Granulomatosis Association is an international non-profit organization with over 5,000 members in 58 countries. The group offers support and comfort to Wegener’s patients and family members through education, awareness and research.
For more information on the disease please call 1-800-277-9474 or visit the group’s website: www.wgassociation.org

Sunday, October 02, 2005

MC Dubya

I never thought I would ever blare the voice of George W. Bush on my computer speakers or on my car stereo. That is until I found www.thepartyparty.com. RX, the pseudonym of the guy that runs the site, remixes Presidential speeches and other media sources to phat beats like samples of "My Generation" and "Sympathy for the Devil" to make some crazy stuff. My favorite tracks are "Dick Is A Killer" and "My Name Is RX." He also has T-shirts and CDs available.

RX isn't the only one in on this craze. If you go to DIYMEDIA.net's collage section, they have a smorgasboard of other interpretation's of political speeches and whatnot. A personal favorite of mine there is a nice take on Michael Moore's Oscar Acceptance speech for Bowling for Columbine...you know, the "Shame on you Mr. Bush" one. So I can now say I am a fan of the President, at least his music.