(What's So Wrong 'Bout) 10 Year Erections

The Associated Press reported today that a former handyman from Rhode Island, "Chick" Lennon, is "suffering" from a 10 year erection due to a malfunctioning penile implant. A superior judge dismissed his case after a previous award of $750,000 in 1994, which was reduced to $400,000. It was found that since the now defunct manufacturer can't be held liable, that its insurance company can't either.

Several points here...

• Of course he is a former handyman. Can you imagine having a man with an erection putting in a light fixture at your home? That would just be creepy.
• I once knew of a fellow that had a pump type thing implanted in him. There were two sides to pump up, but at some point one blew out. Half of an erection has to be a real downer. How do you explain that to the ladies? "You're only half attractive honey"??
• Having a constant erection can't be that embarrassing. In fact it should be enough to drop the nickname "Chick". Sometimes guys have issues with their penises that use them to their advantage. Ron Jeremy, for instance, is ugly, but has a large member, so he got into porn, and is now set for life I'm sure. John Wayne Bobbitt had his male organ cut of by then wife, Lorena, and thrown out of the window of her car (see image below).It was later re-attached and he made a fine career in...porn. So having an odd penis mainly leads to porn, but it could be worse...you could make a living taking pictures of cars for peanuts.

Guys complain if they can't get an erection or if they have one for more than 4 hours and even have the audacity to sue for having one that lasts for 10 years. Look Chick, worse things are happening in this world than your petrified penis. I'm sure theirs boys overseas that have had theirs blown off extremists with roadside bombs that hate our free penises. Be grateful for what you have, even if that may be hard for you. And to those that only stay erect for minutes at a time, look at the upside.