Weird Scenes Inside the Depot
Work has been odd lately. I really can't tell if I like it or despise it. The IRS is a demanding group. The Don has begun referring to me as Lieutenant, which is flattering, but at the same time, puts a lot of pressure on me.
"Keep the Filipinos in line," he tells me. "They're creating payroll issues with hours. You're gonna have to gaffle 'em."
Did I sign up for this?
No, but my Italian heritage gave me this life, and I must accept it. Even if I have a BA, my calling is in retail servicing. If only the benefits were better, and the damn pirates stayed away from my products.
I have said this before, but I worked for the major fertilizer and grass seed company last year. This year, I work for their competition. My job is to make displays and make the products look pretty. These dirty grass seed pirates from the competition feel the need to destroy my displays by trashing them or slashing holes through it until it is unrecognizable like a baby calf at the veal factory. I come into my stores only to find emptied bags of seed, with holes riddled all over it. This is not the work of mice, no, this is most definitely the work of the pirates.
Why do they do it? Is there a sick satisfaction in it? I suppose so, because there is no monetary bonus for these workers at the bottom of the totem pole. They move our products where no one can see them and take over prime spaces. They throw my displayers away. BASTARDS!
They have a stranglehold on the stores that they are merchandised in because of their fancy national advertising campaigns with B-grade baseball stars. They sell more than the rest only because they defeat their competition through these dirty tactics. Management can't do anything about it. They are bullied as well or bribed with promises of enough free fertilizer to cover 20,000 square feet and kill all of the pests that inhabit their lawn.
Our only way to fight back is to fight fire with fire. They have more manpower though. The trick is to squash them when their not looking, to use trick plays. And only then will they swim with the fishes.
Aside from the pirates, one of the my cohorts in the IRS has been exiled. When things like this occur, it is only human for rumors and innuendo to follow. I can only hope that this isn't the beginning of the downfall of the IRS. If one guy slips up, does he take others with him? I doubt it.
Change happens at the most inopportune times. You can only roll with the punches. That goes for the war with your opponents and the drama of everyday relationships.
And you must always watch your back. I was once a pirate. I have learned much.
"Keep the Filipinos in line," he tells me. "They're creating payroll issues with hours. You're gonna have to gaffle 'em."
Did I sign up for this?
No, but my Italian heritage gave me this life, and I must accept it. Even if I have a BA, my calling is in retail servicing. If only the benefits were better, and the damn pirates stayed away from my products.
I have said this before, but I worked for the major fertilizer and grass seed company last year. This year, I work for their competition. My job is to make displays and make the products look pretty. These dirty grass seed pirates from the competition feel the need to destroy my displays by trashing them or slashing holes through it until it is unrecognizable like a baby calf at the veal factory. I come into my stores only to find emptied bags of seed, with holes riddled all over it. This is not the work of mice, no, this is most definitely the work of the pirates.
Why do they do it? Is there a sick satisfaction in it? I suppose so, because there is no monetary bonus for these workers at the bottom of the totem pole. They move our products where no one can see them and take over prime spaces. They throw my displayers away. BASTARDS!
They have a stranglehold on the stores that they are merchandised in because of their fancy national advertising campaigns with B-grade baseball stars. They sell more than the rest only because they defeat their competition through these dirty tactics. Management can't do anything about it. They are bullied as well or bribed with promises of enough free fertilizer to cover 20,000 square feet and kill all of the pests that inhabit their lawn.
Our only way to fight back is to fight fire with fire. They have more manpower though. The trick is to squash them when their not looking, to use trick plays. And only then will they swim with the fishes.
Aside from the pirates, one of the my cohorts in the IRS has been exiled. When things like this occur, it is only human for rumors and innuendo to follow. I can only hope that this isn't the beginning of the downfall of the IRS. If one guy slips up, does he take others with him? I doubt it.
Change happens at the most inopportune times. You can only roll with the punches. That goes for the war with your opponents and the drama of everyday relationships.
And you must always watch your back. I was once a pirate. I have learned much.
posted by Diabetoboy at
5/15/2006 11:08:00 PM
1 Comments:
I have this to say about that... When in doubt, do what Bush does: fight fire with fire, and when the house burns down, blame the firestarter, also pay no attention to those unpatriotic smart asses who accuse you of failing to do the obvious with that huge pail of water you were holding when the small match started it all right under your nose. This way, in the end, you are assured of many things, the least among them is a certain lack of victory, but on the brighter side, you could very well obtain the highest post in the nation if you keep your ineptitude up!
Or since you are wise, you could try something totally unlike anything mentioned before and secretly place one or two very cheap time lapse usb cameras attached to a laptop computer and aimed at the suspect location. When the criminals are caught red handed on ultra low quality digital film they will surely turn themselves in or be subject to blackmail and certain demise.
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